An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman go into a pub. They all have a great time and leave the pub in high spirits. This is the sort of sick scene that the PC Brigade wish to see in every public house throughout the land.
       A motion was passed through the House of Lords last week to enforce new PC social minority quotas on UK businesses. These new rules mean that every business, however small, must employ at least one disabled person per nine able workers.
       In response to the new rules, the FA has released emergency guidelines to all English football clubs. Everton football club are just one of many league clubs that at present are not meeting the government quotas:
       'Bloody ludicrous!' suggested an Everton official. 'According to the new rules we have to find a black, one-legged, gay asylum seeker who can play up front by next week or else we'll be liable for a £100,000 fine! I mean, we've already got Kevin Campbell...'