The results of a major FA investigation were revealed to the public yesterday, which will signal an end to the long lived myth that all unsuccessful Nationwide clubs are simply 'sleeping giants'.
       The report uncovers the fundimental issues behind the lowly status of these clubs - they just aren't any good.
       It concludes with the proposition that all small clubs are thus technically 'sleeping giants' as every football club has the potential to win every game for the next 'X' years and hence become more 'successful'.
      "We are a massive, massive club" exclaimed a deluded Exeter City fan during a football phone-in radio show last week. "All we need is a better manager, a much better squad, a bigger and better stadium and about 100 million pounds. We are so close I can virtually taste the metallic tint of the silverware already."
      The fans of Exeter are just one of an increasing band of over optimistic football fans who despite concrete evidence (Exeter at time of writing being near the bottom of Division 3), believe that their club has a god given right to be doing better than they currently are.
       Another group of brainwashed fans are those of Wolverhampton Wanderers FC. The last time this team won any silverware was the mickey mouse League Cup in the '79-80 season. Their only valid claim for being a 'big club' is that they already have a decent stadium.
      "We're really going up this season" pledged Wolves fans just before the collosal slump that lost them their automatic promotion place last season.
      Lord Thwait, a convicted sex offender and member of the report findings committe, has sent documentation to all Nationwide football clubs offering an explanation of the reports findings and gives simple advice on the basics of football club management.
       A certain high profile Division 1 chairman was shocked to find out that paying £40k a week to a semi-retired Italian striker is not economically viable in todays footballing climate. It is this type of naivety and downright inbred cretinous behaviour that is dragging back any half-decent football club.
      As long as these chaotic footballing extremists have their way, football clubs will forever be snoozing through history...